The Art of Cultivating Self-Motivated Children

The ultimate goal of education is not just to teach students, but to guide them toward life-long learning. Self-motivated children tend to become self-motivated adults who remain curious about the world around them and are always eager to learn more. 

Self-motivation is also a great sign of responsibility, both inside and outside of the classroom. Students with this quality will have an easier time adjusting to the demands of a modern, nonlinear career that requires the constant learning of new skills.

There are many obstacles to cultivating self-motivation, whether children are homeschooled or not. Fortunately, much of the psychology is understood, and there are many things you can do to encourage it.

Let’s take a look at some ways you can help your children become self-motivated learners and identify some common obstacles to self-directed learning that are specific to homeschoolers.

Internal vs. External Motivation

Motivation comes in two forms: internal and external.

You are externally motivated when you complete a task to achieve a separate end. For example, giving your child a treat for completing their homework is an example of external motivation.

You are internally motivated when you complete a task out of enjoyment for the task itself. For example, if your child reads a book simply because they love the characters and the story, they are internally motivated.

Neither internal nor external motivation are necessarily better than the other. In fact, most things we do in life come from a mix of both–you may love doing your job, but you also show up at work for a paycheck.

When it comes to learning, however, it is good to build up internal motivation, so students continue to feel motivated even without external rewards. The key to building internal motivation lies in rearranging activities so that they create a “flow state.”

The Flow State and Internal Motivation

Have you ever become so engrossed in an activity–like painting or reading–that the hours seem to fly by without your noticing? That psychological state is called “flow,” and it is considered one of the most rewarding experiences life has to offer.

Flow is an internally motivating factor. When you’re in a flow state, you continue to act because the activity itself has attracted your attention. One study reported that flow and emotional engagement can account for 68% of the variance in motivational levels.

Almost any activity–including schoolwork–can be arranged to make it easier to get into a flow state. There are three main factors to consider:

• Immediate feedback
• Clear goals
• Balance between skills and challenges

For example, if your child lacks motivation to do a set of math problems, you can try to create flow by implementing those three factors:

1. Provide immediate feedback by checking answers soon after they finish.
2. Provide clear goals by showing them the point of each problem.
3. Maintain a clear balance between skills and challenges by adjusting the content as they progress.

If you notice that your child is getting every question right immediately, or struggling to get anything right at all, that probably means he or she should be tackling a different set of problems.

Obstacles to Self-Motivation

When homeschooling, there are many factors that could interfere with your child’s ability to motivate themselves. Some, none, or all of these could be involved:

Over-reliance on parental guidance. This can become a problem if it prevents the child from learning how to solve problems on their own. It can also create monotony. This is a case of an imbalance between skills and challenge, whereby the lack of a challenge creates boredom and prevents the growth of skills.

Parent/child dynamics. The relationship parents have with their children beyond the classroom can also contribute to a lack of motivation. When relations are too strained, children may become resentful and uncooperative. When relations are too congenial, they might not be challenged enough. 

Lack of structure. Children perform well in structured environments. Lack of structure in teaching may also hinder self-motivation. It’s far easier to feel motivated when there is a routine, and things happen in a predictable manner, day after day and week after week. When routines are unpredictable or disorganized, too much mental energy is spent trying to make sense out of each new experience.

Unclear goals. The lack of a clear goal can confuse students and make them hesitant to take the next step on their own. Optimally, learning goals should be set and reset so that they are always at or slightly above the student’s current skill level.

Slow or unclear feedback. Uncertainty is the enemy of motivation. Confusing or delayed feedback can break the connection between action and result that drives motivation. For example, when a student doesn’t hear back about an essay for weeks or months, they can forget why they even wrote it in the first place. At that point, feedback becomes abstract and the desire to act on it wanes.

In general, put yourself in your child’s shoes. Remember that you, too, were once their age, and they probably face many of the same motivational struggles you did as a student.

Self-Motivation is a Lifelong Gift

Cultivating self-motivated learning habits is one of the best gifts you can give your children. With a greater love of learning, they will learn more with less effort and more easily find joy and wonder in the world around them.

Being a self-motivated learner is also good for career prospects. Modern careers tend to be nonlinear thanks to a rapidly changing world that demands rapidly changing skill sets. People who can easily motivate themselves to learn new skills and tackle new challenges have a big advantage in this kind of environment.

Fortunately, there is much you can do to help your child become a self-motivated learner. By providing a proper incentive structure, you can balance their skills and challenges to make learning an intrinsically rewarding experience.

To learn more, watch or listen to this episode of The Demme Learning Show, where host Gretchen Roe dives into “Charlotte Mason’s 7 Keys of Developing Self-Motivated Children” with guest Jeannie Fulbright, a veteran homeschooler and award-winning author.